“Game of Thrones” Recap: 65 Thoughts I had watching ‘The Queen’s Justice’

Season 7, Episode 3: The Queen’s Justice

Another Sunday, another night praying to the old gods and the new that your favorite character doesn’t get axed.

SPOILER ALERT:
If you have not watched season seven, episode three of “Game of Thrones,” turn back now.

  1. Previously on is showing Bran… about time for some Three-Eyed Raven action.
  2. Wow, getting right down to business. Didn’t expect we’d be starting with this meeting. This is too intense.
  3. I love that Jon and Tyrion are long lost besties. I guess pissing off The Wall brings people together.
  4. This episode should have been named ‘The Onion Knight Returns.’
  5. Leave it to Dany to ask for the weapons… why you gotta be so difficult?
  6. What if they just killed Jon and all his men right after they took the weapons? Yikes…
  7. Is Davos spitting game to Missandei…? Back tf up or Grey Worm will beat yo ass boiiii.
  8. “To be honest I was drunk for most of it” Well, you’re not wrong, Tyrion.
  9. Drogon serving as a reminder to everyone of exactly where they are.
  10. Ugh, Davos is probably thinking of bb Shireen when he sees those dragons. That’s heartbreaking.
  11. Meanwhile, cut to Melissandra and she knows she bout to get her ass beat.
  12. “Sorry Varys, gotta run!” – Melissandra, probably.
  13. At least she finally acknowledges sacrificing Shireen was a terrible mistake.
  14. “I have to die in this country… Just like you” *mic drop* Varys was SHOOK.
  15. OMG Y’ALL ITS REALLY HAPPENING
    giphy1
  16. Missandei gives Dany’s super long title and Davos hits them with, “This is Jon Snow…” HAHA.
  17. Dany breaking out the history books and dropping some knowledge on Jon.
  18. “I am the last Targaryen, Jon Snow.” LOL YOU THOUGHT.
  19. Tyrion just has to remind Davos that they almost took King’s Landing.
  20. Dany and Jon’s backstories are so freakin’ similar.
  21. Well that didn’t go the way I’d hoped.
    giphy2
  22. Poor Theon… he did the only thing he could do to ensure they both survived. Let’s be real, if he charged Euron then he kills them both.
  23. Ugh… how are all of the people of King’s Landing on Cersei’s side after she blew up The Sept and killed everyone?
  24. Euron has some serious crazy eyes.
  25. JAIME BEAT EURON’S ASS PLEASE UGH. Euron is an absolute savage asking Jaime for sex advice.
  26. I’m really pulling for lots of hypothetical ass beating in this episode.
  27. Cersei’s about to kill Ellaria’s daughter in front of her as payback.
  28. Omg what if she makes the Mountain smash her head in?! Just kidding, she shot that down pretty quickly.
  29. SHE KISSED HER WITH THE POISON!
  30. Cersei is such a savage.
  31. She better have taken all that lipstick off before hooking up with Jaime.

32. First time we’ve seen Cersei naked in not an awful, cringe-inducing way.
33. “We’ll need fresh sheets for the bed.” lol Cersei dgaf.
34. The Iron Bank is here to collect its debt, Lannister’s better pay up.
35. Cersei thinks the war will end in a fortnight? That’s ballsy
36. Tyrion is here for brooding lessons with Jon.
37. Wow… I wrote that before they had an entire conversation about brooding.
38. “Unsure about the nomenclature.” I literally had this issue earlier today when talking about killing (?) White Walkers.
39. Any time Tyrion quotes a wise man, you know that means himself.
40. Tyrion is literally the best, he can convince anyone to do anything. He’s so good at strategy.
41. Sansa out here running ish in Winterfell. I see you, boss lady.
42. She is not giving Littlefinger the time of day and I am HERE FOR IT.
43. ARYA IS HERE!!!!!
44. JUST KIDDING IT’S BRAN OMG
45. MY HEART
46. Sansa mentions Jon… “Yes, I need to speak to him.” Uh oh… shit’s gonna hit the fan soon.
47. Bran is lowkey creepy af right now.

48. Ugh, he’s scaring Sansa away 😦
49. Omg Ser Jorah, you have GOT to tell me your skin care routine!!! Neutrogena?
50. Hahaha yeah, it was just the rest and the climate.
51. The handshake… that’s bold, Sam. Gotta have faith in your work, though. Respect.
52. Shut up, Maester Slughorn, he saved his life.
53. Finally, Casterly Rock time. How are they gonna squeeze this into 10 minutes?
54. Grey Worm don’t die plz.
55. OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT TYRION WAS IN CHARGE OF THE SEWERS
56. “Give me 10 good men and I’ll impregnate the bitch.” ICONIC.
57. Wow, I was a big fan of the Tyrion voiceover talking through the plan while we saw it all go down. That was badass.
58. Just kidding. Ugh. For a hot sec I thought Jaime and Bronn were marching on Casterly Rock, and I was heated.
59. Ugh why does Cersei always win? She’s outplayed everyone so far this season.
60. The Rains of Castamere is playing… I’m triggered.
61. The fact that Jaime learned that move from Robb makes it worse. 😩
62. Olenna still taking shots at Joffrey, classic.
63. She’s getting to Jaime and planting the seed in his head of just how evil his sister/lover is… he’s going to kill Cersei eventually.
64. Poor old Olenna is just ready to be with Marjorie and Loris now. 😔
65. Olenna coming clean on her death bed… “Tell Cersei.” One of the realest in the game. The Queen of Thorns (and Shade) was an absolute savage until the last drop. I’m pouring one out for you tonight, Lady O. RIP.

 

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